Advices I got.

surprisingly, after the breakup, people have come up to me, telling me about their own breakups and asking me for advices on how to deal with it.

I know I'm in no position to give advices, so I took advices that people gave me, to help the others.

for those going through a breakup now, I really understand how you feel. the pain, the hurt, and for those who think you did something wrong, the remorse, the guilt. those aren't easy emotions to deal with. in fact, they're one of the hardest. furthermore, you have to deal with the fact that your partner is not with you physically anymore.

learn how to deal with everything, one step at a time.

firstly, calm yourself down. don't ever hurt yourself when you're not thinking straight [no pun intended!]. that will only further traumatise and drive your partner away from you. believe me, I've learnt from experiences.

second, let time heal everything. 1 day of crying not enough? give it 3. not enough? 5, and so on. I cried everyday for ten days after the break up. but remember, the most important thing is to pick yourself up after all the crying and remorsing. please do not wallow in the sadness that it swallows you and takes over your life, or sinks your into depression.

third, distract yourself as much as possible, as hard as it sounds. some bury themselves in school, some in work, some in hobbies. just do something. do not repeat the mistake I've made, which is to lay around and think about K the whole day, thinking about the past and what could have happened if only this, IF ONLY THAT... just occupy yourself with something.

fourth, when you're more calm and better, if you decide that you still can't live without your partner, go and speak to him/her [only when you've calmed down!]. you don't want to make things worse by making a big hoo-haa or creating dyke drama for the lesbians. and also, please please please, be prepared for the worst answer you'll get, which is a NO straight in your face. if you think you can't handle it, do not attempt it.

last... if all else fails, you only got two choices.

1. wait for your partner.
2. move on.

and for both choices, please please please think about what you did wrong in the relationship that caused the break up. learn from the mistakes, and make changes to yourself. make changes FOR YOURSELF, not just to get your partner back. because if reality sinks in that he/she is not coming back to you, all the efforts to make changes will stop, and it'll be wasted.

enjoy making the changes to become a better person. you'll feel more confident about yourself when you find more and more people liking the NEW you, not just romantically, but platonically as well. you never know, you might just find someone much better than your ex who's more worthy of your love.

I'm really not sure if this entry would help the ones who's going through a break up right now, but I sure hope it does.

if it helps, remember that you're not alone in the process of mending your broken heart.

I hope you stand up quickly and move on, or better still, get a chance to get back with your loved ones.

all the best.